Hello, my dear, fellow guests, users and admins.
I don`t know where to begin.
Maybe some of you remember, that i used to write reviews about really shitty movies. Actually it was only 1 ( i think ) So, from now on, i will try to behave myself and continue this master class awesomeness from time to time.
This movie is the shieeeeeeeeeeeeet, so please, be patient and let me start the punk ass journey thru the film.
As you can see, this movie has got a 2 parts now, i was reviewing it like, 4 years back, that will were using the old forums, but, i can`t access it no more. So sorry, there will be no links to the first one.
But in this case, fuck it, we will move on to the second part, witch is more crazy than the first one. Of course this film (Part 2) has less funny characters, but the visual taste has been improved.
Lets start with that, that our main character is a Afro american ( RZA – musician – rapper – shitty actor etc.) witch we will call Nigga, because he is the only BLACK guy in the film. As for the rest of the characters, i`ll think of their nicknames in the process.
So our super, uber, great story begins on some kind of raft house commune, in the middle of the fucking lake or big river, i don`t have a clue, but that does not matter. So, Nigga is chilling, having fun buy himself, his IRON FISTS are hidden under dirty sheets, so nobody can recognize him, this is because, he was a bad ass motherfucker in first part, so some guys finally found him and wanted to fight with him. So he, of course, killed them all, but the local boss of the group harmed him, bad, so the Nigga fell in the river.. SOMEHOW the only LOG form the whole river found the Nigga and helped him.. survive. That`s promising? You don`t worry sucker, that`s only the start.
So the HUJFUCKSHIT members of the local village found him in the river, and took them to their place.
The HUJFUCKSHIT people are workers in silver mines.. And the CUNTASSDICK clan is the charge of the work.
The Headmaster of CUNTASSDICK clan is one crazy bastard. Let`s call him, Wankerface. He loves women very much.. he even told them to shut the fuck up and just laugh and play kinky games.. and of course, he orders to kill people from HUJFUCKSHIT members in the mines, and tell them they are accidents. There are two brothers from HUJFUCKSHIT, who are getting really tired of the CUNTASSDICK clan power and demands. And of course one of the brothers was killed in the mines, because he kicked the shit out of CUNTASSDICK clan member in a fair fight, but that does not matter. So, the Older brother, lets call him Chinapro. Why you ask? because he fights with real passion and shit, is mad about the death of his brother.. and he wants to avenge it. In the mean time Nigga has found a job as a new blacksmith in the HUJFUCKSHIT village. And together with Chinapro, they are slowly starting to think about the avenge day. The mayor of the HUJFUCKSHIT village is cripple, so we will call him – Cripple, because i simply like it that way.
Mayor is a big ass kisser for CUNTASSDICK clan, so he can`t help the other HUJFUCKSHIT people, or just don`t want to. He is always in his wheelchair and bitching around that life sucks, and fuck you all and stuff. Chinapros daughter likes Nigga, so Nigga decides to help the poor bastards, and will make weapons in his workshop – mint for miners. THEY WANT BLOOD ! Chinapro challenges the Wankerface in the battle for honor and the poor people of HUJFUCKSHIT. Wankerface accepts and of course sucks his dick, but almost kills him.. but in the impossible move the Nigga is jumped in and showed, that he is the IRON FIST master and the ugly legend of china. CUNTASSDICK clan captures them, and send them to cages in the meadow, to rot till morning when they will be executed. Cripple with this wheelchair saves them.. he is ultra pro with his bow.. i don`t have words for this. You will see. Of course ( i use this shit again) other villagers is helping them too, because secretly Nigga has made weapons for the miners. He built in knives in their work axes. So they are DOUBLE DEADLY now. Cripple wants to fight too. So Nigga is making him brand new Adidas legs from iron of course. Cripple is happy. Few hours and the legs are done, with big nails, legs putted to Cripple and he is ready to go. Legs is not working fine. Cripple is sad. Nigga too. But they need to fight the CUNTASSDICK members, the party is starting early and the miners are slaughtering them hard, because they are mad and angry as fuck. But then the magic happens, and the Wankerface is now an ally for Cripple, because Cripple is not a Cripple any more. He drinked the holly water, witch was the real case of mining, not the silver, but the fucking holly water, witch groves his skills to mad level and he is more powerful than he ever was. And he has Adidas iron legs now, so he is one mean motherfucker now. He wants to take control of the holly water and takes the spirit of Chinapros daughter to make Chinapro fight him already. China pro together with Nigaa, who has been fighting all around the place.. now helps him. Some epic fight scene with Wankerface, who falls like in 2 minutes, fucking beginner.. And then the real fight comes, because Cripple is now kicking ass to everybody. Legs only – mode. Noob. So, Nigga is taking the action against him. Some breakdance moves by both of them Nigga throws him down the fall in the small lake or something. Cripple is heavy, because of his legs, so he cant swim up.. but nooooo… Chinapro wants to finish him, duke-nuke style. Jumps in. Fails. Almost drowns. Survives only because Nigga with his ultimate punch thru water wanks him in the head. Chinapro is alive..
Everybody sings, laughs. Chinapros daughter has been saved by the holly water. That is still a mystery for me.. how. But she is. The best moments in this movie is, when they show some nature, there is always RZA rap beat songs playing. Could not stop lough about it.
To get the best IRON FIST movie combo evening.. download the first part as well, so the action was more powerful for your brains. Blood scenes is great. Like in 90`s. Enjoy.
With full respect and best wishes..
Your one and only :
Letālais. a.k.a LeTHaL